Unnecessary Judgment and Blame

 I realised that most of us constantly judge and blame ourselves for some things that actually warrant no judgment or blame.I often go through the following short script when I notice that a client is beating themselves up unnecessarily.Me: Hold on a second! Do you know I am Italian?Client: ...

Sep 1

Categories: Forgiveness, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, Mindfulness, ...


Videogames are just like life!

It’s not uncommon to feel like life is a never-ending set of twists and turns, often unexpected, always somewhat challenging. Over the years I used the analogy of videogames to address this concept and many of its derivatives. I don’t know if life is like videogames or videogames are ...

Jul 30

Categories: Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance


What can business teach us about relationships?

What can business teach us about relationships? I would say quite a lot. Today I want to follow up on my video from two weeks ago, where I introduced the idea that we can learn a lot from the relationships of every day life, like business relationships, to further enhance our intimate ...

Jul 1

Categories: Mindfulness, Relationships & Marriage


Feel happier by clearly distinguishing between 'change' and 'outcomes'

You may recall the video we sent a couple of weeks ago. If you have not seen it, I would thoroughly recommend you watch it. It is my experience ...

Jul 1

Categories: Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Life Purpose / Meaning / ...


To Stress Or Not To Stress?

 Today I want to share the third analogy I frequently use in my sessions with clients. “What disturbs men’s minds is not events but their judgements on events.” Epictetus Today I want to share a few examples to illustrate how in most situations the stressors we perceive as ...

Jul 1

Categories: Mindfulness


The Clown

You may recall the video we sent a couple of weeks ago. If you have not seen it, I would thoroughly recommend you watch it.  The clown is the next analogy I frequently use during my therapy sessions, ...

Jul 1

Categories: Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Empathy


The Dashboard

You are driving to an important meeting that you cannot miss, and you are running late. Suddenly you see a yellow/orange light flashing on your dashboard with the symbol of a petrol pump.   What would you do next?   Same scenario, different moment… important meeting, you are late. ...

Feb 23

Categories: Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness


You Are Both the Gardener and the Plant

image credit: pixabay

Jan 26

Categories: Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, Mindfulness, Self-Care / ...


A new self-development programme shows significant improvements in ...

I have some exciting news following a small research project that I conducted over the last few months.I present the article in a scientific format for ease of reference, and it includes some technical information, but it is definitely written for any reader.

Dec 13

Categories: Depression, Happiness, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, ...


Talking to Kids about Sex: An Age by Age Guide to Sex Education and ...

Originally published on Sassy Mama on 24 Sept 2019 When should you start talking to your kids about sex? And do you wait until they start asking ...

Oct 6

Categories: Child Development, Parenting, Sexual Problems / Sex Therapy


Can mindset, cold and breathing really heal us?

I still hear the admonitions as if it were yesterday. “Wear a hat, it’s cold and you’ll get sick” “Cover yourself or you’ll catch a fever, it’s cold outside” There are more, but I think you get the picture.Fast forward to 3+ years ago and I stumble on ...

Jan 31

Categories: Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Anxiety, Depression, Life ...


Is regret a warning light?

Happy New Year everyone, and thank you for the ongoing support!!!I noticed a pattern that continues to show up in conversations with my clients and I want to offer it as an opportunity for reflection and growth.We probably all have some regrets, tiny or huge that they may be, they tend to be ...

Jan 4

Categories: Anxiety, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance


Please welcome to the stage 377a...again!

Since India's ruling to legalise gay sex on 6 Sept 20118 the debate on Section 377a of the Penal Code in Singapore has reignited.A couple of days after the ruling I received a video from a friend. The video does not show the authors, producers or institutions behind it, but the message is ...

Sep 19

Categories: Gender Identity disorder, LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & ...


Can you press the pause button on life?

 Some of the messages in this video resonate so strongly that it is difficult to stick with it and watch the whole 5 minutes.Do you have the courage to watch it all?

Jun 20

Categories: Addictions, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance


Focus on your relationship, and rediscover amazing physical intimacy

I am prepared to bet that what I am about to write applies to at least 80% of married couples. Read until the end for a fun useful activity to complete with your partner.Over the last few years I had the privilege to work with many individuals and couples on marital concerns. Specialising in ...

Jun 10

Categories: Couple Counseling, Marital Counseling, Pre-Marital Counseling, ...


Blog Writer:

Dr Oberdan Marianetti

Dr Oberdan Marianetti is the founder of Essence Coaching, and the creator of the EssenceĀ® model. As a qualified Psychologist and Sexologist, Oberdan has successfully helped individuals and couples revive the excitement in their relationships and sex life. He has a keen desire to help people reconnect with their true selves - their EssenceĀ® - and form meaningful connection with others. Whether through private consultations or public workshops, Oberdan is committed to helping each individual rediscover the power and beauty of their own sexuality in an open, safe and non-judgemental environment. With the experience accumulated from private practice, he brings new perspectives on intimacy and sexuality through highly engaging and informative presentations and workshops on sexuality, sex and relationships." His work has been published by the British Psychological Society and Oxford University Press; he is a regular speaker and has developed his own Leadership model (Essence Leadership), which was featured in sector-specific publications and in TED.

Dr Oberdan Marianetti belongs to Dr Oberdan Marianetti in Singapore