Men In Therapy

Published on March 8, 2014

It's clear to me that Robert started therapy because of "external pressure." He was having a severe separation crisis with his wife, Anna, who demanded counseling intervention. Anna disappeared from their home because she couldn't endure her husband's verbal and emotional abuses anymore.

During my joint session with him and his wife, Robert's reactivity got intensified by his acute anxiety and anger responses. He brought shame and hostility during our exchange, obviously projected unto my person as a therapist. Compounding these, Robert's propensity for quick solutions accelerated his relational dysfunction with his wife.

Therapists and counselors often encounter difficulties working with men. Generally, men and women enter therapy for the same kinds of reasons. The frequent difference between the genders lies in the degree of willingness, the stage of the problem, and who initiates the therapeutic intervention. Women are developmentally socialized to talk about and seek help for their problems. Men, on the other hand, can be so culturally and rigidly conditioned by society, family, workplace, and media to think, feel, and act as "men."

I hope that this insight about men will increase our awareness of gender conditioning as it relates to effective psychotherapy and intervention. Men are victims of gender role stereotyping and the myths and character disorders such stereotyping perpetuates. It's essential to use this awareness to enhance rather than diminish the ability of loved ones or helpers to help men change and heal.

Category(s):Adult psychological development, Men's Issues, Relationships & Marriage

Written by:

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist

Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist belongs to Dr. Angelo O. Subida Psychotherapy Clinic in Philippines