Hardwiring Happiness - A Psychologist's Musings on her own Journey towards Creating a Positivity Bias

Published on February 10, 2015

I wake up this morning and don’t feel quite right - I can't quite put my finger on it at the moment, but already I have a niggling feeling this is going to be a difficult morning.

My daughter was up all night with a runny nose and ended up sleeping most of the night in my bed - I on the other hand did not. This morning, I notice as I wake up that besides the fact that Im exhausted , the room seems stuffier, darker somehow - almost like a grey film has settled over everything. My 18th month year old seems scratchier as well and as I go through the motions of things getting her ready for play school , things around the house that are not quite right also seem to pop out at me . For example ,  looks like one of the bath towels got thrown into a coloured wash as its all pink now…just bought it which is annoying - in addition, no matter how many times I seem to organise things upstairs rogue files and toys and books somehow seem to find their way back to cluttering up the space. Despite trying to calm myself down, I start to feel my blood pressure rise, my frustration bubbling to the surface , my mouth turning down into a distinct and undeniable frown. Perhaps this sounds familiar?

As Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist and author of Budha's Brain would say, my mind has become 'TEFLON for the negative' and I can no longer see all the beauty that surrounds me but instead - I see whats Not working and Not right . In the past , this would have sent me tippling towards a negative spiral of despair and self-pity , feeling powerless and like nothing was going to turnaround for the better over the course of the day.

Today - I check myself - don’t fight the feelings ( that never works) but know I’m in the grey zone and its not the things around me that are actually more negative than normal , but much more likely its my brain chemistry and thought processes that are not quite in harmony at the moment. That’s ok - I had a bad nights sleep after all - it happens. Probably doesn’t help that I got into a bit of a heated discussion ( that never got resolved) with my partner last night either. Normal stuff, but still the stuff of life that can come together to set a negative undertone to your day without the right tools to shift it.

Years ago, I would have let the negativity dominate my mood and reactions with others the rest of the day - maybe even a few days after. Now, I know there are things which I can do to support myself to creating a shift towards the positive so that I can enjoy ( and send out more joy) the rest of the afternoon and evening. Just the awareness that the mood itself is transient and I have the ability to create this shift already makes me feel more in charge of my own life and experiences in the moment.

By noon - I’ve seen a couple clients, sent out a spunky birthday message to a friend and am setting into a nourishing lunch , feeling engaged, energised and much more positive about the rest of my day. The mornings grey veil has lifted and is nothing more than a distant memory I give little thought to as I tuck into my delicious meal.

The ability to create this shift can be yours too. In 6, easy-to-relate-to sessions kicking off on the 16th of March 2015, I will be handing out the science, skills and practical tools you can take home to be able to create more positivity and joy in your life everyday.

To find out more about what skills and tools I've discovered through my own personal and professional practice to create this shift - sign up at http://thehardwiringhappinessproject.com  or email Anoushka at anoushka@thehardwiringhappinessproject.com 

Category(s):Happiness, Positive Psychology, Self-Care / Self Compassion

Written by:

Anoushka Beh

Anoushka Beh, MSc (MFT), BSc Hons)(UK), is a Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist and Life Coach.

In an integrated approach, she combines her clinical expertise with various techniques including EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), IFS (Internal Family Systems) techniques , Guided Visualization, EET (Emotional Empowerment Technique) and Mindfulness-based techniques.

With over a decade of experience, Anoushka's current work with clients is informed by a number of fields, including marriage and family therapy, developmental psychology, brain-based approaches and energy psychology. She aims to help clients transform times of crisis and challenge into an opportunities for self growth and true empowerment. She believes in providing clients with effective healing, enduring change and in the importance of not just responding to symptoms, but treating the root cause.

Anoushka Beh belongs to Abehpsych Counselling Services in Singapore