Forgiveness and Emotional Freedom

Posted on November 16, 2018

Forgiveness is essential in facilitating a healthy and peaceful life after going through a negative episode of abuse, trauma or hurt. The process of forgiveness might also be overwhelming and confusing. Forgiveness does not mean accommodating to a highly unacceptable and upsetting behavior, neither does it mean ‘forgetting’ about the bad experience or letting one get away without facing the consequences of their negative behavior. It should also never be a forced decision or choice that you make thinking you have no other options. We should never ‘forgive’ for the sake of forgiving as it defeats the purpose of the act itself.

Forgiveness is a process of feeling, comprehending, and letting go. It does the self a favor and sets free all bottled negativity. We must forgive, to set ourselves free from sadness and/or abuse, and free ourselves from the mindset of viewing ourselves as victims. Perceiving ourselves as victims keeps us tied to the person or event that upset us. It makes us constantly blame, humiliate, and internally attack or harm ourselves through addictive behaviors and self-abandonment, lying to ourselves and others, and subconsciously trying to destroy relationships. Finally viewing ourselves as survivors, is the first step to progress and experiencing life to the fullest.

The process of forgiveness differs from person to person. These are the main aspects to take note of as we work on forgiving the ones who have greatly upset us:

1. Strive to obtain a purposeful comprehension of the negative situation or behavior. Remember you can make things right now and turn things around.

2. Genuinely get to know yourself, such as the things which annoy you, your purpose and goals in life, beliefs and value system, attitude, and emotions.

3. Recognize, acknowledge and convey your emotions. Do this safely to refrain from unintentionally further hurting yourself or someone else. If needed, work with a professional’s guidance.

4. List out distressing beliefs related to the self, others and the world.

5. Allow yourself to immerse in the sadness, be it from a loss of someone, dreams, and meaningful relationships. Grieving is painful, but it helps us get to the ability to accept ourselves.

6. Identify the disadvantages and benefits from the values, emotions and behavior that causes you pain.

7. Tell yourself to let go. When you sense certain feelings surfacing, it is easy to dwell and be hooked onto them. Make a conscious choice to let go to help yourself progress forward.

8. Set boundaries that contributes to self-care and not a form of punishment or vengeance, including for people or situations which have upset you.

9. Be gentle and kind to yourself and others. Share your strength, experience and faith with others who have gone through or are going through similar situations as such related to pain and hurt.

Constantly check in with yourself and stay in touch with your emotions. Acknowledge your improvements and persevere at a comfortable pace. The path to forgiveness might be tough, but it isn’t impossible.

Category(s):Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Adult psychological development, Forgiveness, Health Psychology, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, Positive Psychology, Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Love

Source material from Psychology Today

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