There is a difference between experiencing a negative incident and being emotionally abused. An act that is commonly carried out by everyone is not a form of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is when one tries to gain power and control over another person, like physical abuse. The difference between the two is that one who emotionally abuses another, does not do it in a violent way or carry out any physical attacks. Instead, he or she uses their emotions as their weapon.
The party who is being emotionally abusive usually would not know that he or she is acting that way and causing emotional harm to others. They might be conscious of the insecurity they feel regarding how the other party feels about them, hence feeling the need to take a demanding and interrogative stance that translates into an aggressive tone. Making false claims, pushing the blame and overly obsessive behavior are signs of emotionally abusing others.
Thinking that one knows what his or her partner really needs, one might attempt to control the other party in everything he or she does by insulting him or her crudely or make threats when things do not go their way. One might also use verbal insults during arguments and find fault in the most minor parts of their partner to feel like they are in control over their partner.
When someone constantly makes you feel like you’re crazy, blames you for their unhappiness, belittles you and puts you down so that they feel better about themselves, it is a form of emotional abuse. People who are emotionally abuse tend to not take any responsibility for their actions and attitude, have double standards when justifying their own behavior, calls the other party names, tries to manipulate others to disrespect their partners, treats their partners with no respect and disgust and are very aloof. In summary, these are the key signs of someone being emotionally abusive:
1. Always throwing insults or try to control and manipulate others.
2. Pushing the blame, belittling and shaming others harshly or uses hurtful verbal insults and name-calling.
3. Refusing affection as a form of punishment for the other party.
4. Not wanting to take responsibility for their actions or any wrongdoings.
5. Playing mind games with their partners.
6. Does not want to communicate.
7. Pull their partners away from his or her loved ones (family) and supportive friends.
Emotional abuse usually happens in a cycle, like physical abuse. When the other party wants to leave them or report the abuser’s actions, the abuser will suddenly apologize and be nice to their partners as they try to win their trust back with romantic actions and get their partners to believe that they will change. This is usually short-lived as after their partners show signs of trust again, the abuser will revert to his or her old ways. This would make it tougher for the victim to leave as they have once again regained trust in their abusers.
Emotional abuse is a torturous and severe cycle of abuse revolving around the attempt to gain control over someone by toying with their emotions. We should not underestimate or devalue the negative outcomes of emotional abuse by identifying minor occurrences as emotional abuse. Instead, people need to try to understand and be aware of what constitutes an emotionally abusive behavior.
Category(s):Adult psychological development, Bullying, Emotional Abuse, Personality problems
Source material from Psychology Today
