Ways to Manage Anger

Posted on September 6, 2017

If you find yourself unable to control your anger in many situations, these six methods to staying calm may be helpful. The methods were extracted by Therese J. Borchard from Elizabeth Pantley’s parenting book “The No-Cry Discipline Solution”.

1. Use a STOP gesture.
Create a physical gesture to STOP yourself the moment you feel like you are losing control. A good gesture is to push your hands outwards, fingers straight, with your palms out. Say the word STOP at the same time. This should be done whenever it is needed, even if you are in the middle of the sentence or moving. If you feel that you are unable to find the restraint to do the STOP gesture, give a round of applause instead. Clap your hands together hard and fast to express your anger. This technique is effective for both major and minor problems.

2. Give yourself space.
Staying in the situation that is making you angry will only make you feel worse and make the situation harder to deal with. It is extremely important not to deal with the situation while you are angry. Step away for a while to collect yourself and allow yourself to calm down.

3. Breathe deeply.
Control your physiological responses to anger. Examples of these responses are an increased heart rate, rapid breathing and a reddened face. Start by breathing in deeply. Doing this will fill your body with oxygen and stop the adrenaline rush that occurs during periods of anger. The extra oxygen will also calm you down and allow your body to feel more relaxed. This allows your brain to start thinking rationally again. Try taking slow, even, deep breaths. Place your hand on your stomach and feel your stomach rise. Doing a simple counting exercise or repeating a calming word or phrase, like “This too shall pass” will help.

4. Analyse.
When you have calmed down, try to analyse the situation to see what actually happened. View it from a different perspective. You can do this by imagining how someone close to you, like your sibling or friend, would have reacted if the situation happened to them. This may help you see where your anger stemmed from, or that your reaction was overblown.

5. Define the problem.
After you have analysed the situation, describe the situation that occurred in one or two simple sentences that clearly state what started your anger.

6. Solve.
After you have defined the problem, you can start thinking about how to solve it. You can make a list of your options and discuss with a friend. The problems that you face are most likely to be common ones with many potential sources for solutions.

Category(s):Anger Management

Source material from Psych Central