7 Secrets to Having a Successful Relationship After Turning 50

Posted on April 5, 2017

Photo: flickr

Age should hardly be an impediment when it comes to relationships. Even though you may be five decades into your life, it is never too late to learn these tips to improving your relationship skills after turning fifty:

1. Be honest
A healthy relationship is one built on integrity. Open yourself and your heart to your significant other. Let them see all sides of you, what you believe in, what you value and how you feel. This transparent honesty supports the integrity of the relationship, and it goes both ways. Listen and understand your partner, allowing him or her to share openly. For a relationship to be sustained after fifty, it Is important to remain receptive to learning more about your partner and in the process, about yourself.

2. Have trust in each other
Remember that in healthy relationships, a bond of mutual trust between both parties has to be established. This is even more crucial as you get older, as you will have to simultaneously deal with the changes and anxieties that come with getting older. Just as you want to feel that your partner has your best interests at heart, and cherishes you by really listening to you, seeing you and embracing you for the person you are, you have to reciprocate by behaving in this manner too.

3. Deal with conflicts lovingly
All relationships encounter conflict at some point, but for successful conflict to ensue, it is important to approach a disagreement while all ears – listen patiently and respond, not with your most instinctive reactions or feelings, but only after you have thought through the situation in its entirety (having heard your partner’s side of the story) and considered what your response should be. Being impulsive may not help either of you resolve the situation in an amicable fashion, and may even cause a rift to form between you and your partner. The differences between our understandings of a situation and that of our partner’s can be surprisingly large; hence, it is always better to clarify. Focus on gaining a common understanding of the situation and search for a solution that works for the both of you.

4. Practise positive communication
It is important to take note of how you communicate with your partner. In fact, not just what you say, but how you say it also matters. These affect how your partner feels and hence, how he or she will behave. Here are some key principles of positive communication:

- Avoid words with negative connotations such as ‘no’ and ‘don’t, as these words will subconsciously incite a feeling of resistance in your partner’; tell your partner what you want, not what you do not want.

- Avoid critical language, as it is important to focus on what your partner does well, not what he or she should be criticised for.

- Give him or her your full and undivided attention. Many couples, despite having the best intentions, answer their cell phones or glance at their mobiles while talking to each other. This has a large impact on how your partner feels, and many of us do not realise it. Give your significant other the focus that he or she deserves.

- Give him or her words of affirmation, as these spoken indicators of affection and love are still needed. No matter what you may think, your partner cannot read your mind or your heart. Be proactive in showing your appreciation for him or her.

5. Value your partner’s freedom
Your partner and you are not one and the same, despite how close you may have grown. Allow your partner to have some time alone to pursue his or her own interests, and do the same for yourself. Support his or her goals, and show respect for each other.

6. Spend quality time together
Even though you may have been together for decades or feel way past your dating age, do not forget to have fun together, to build new memories and go on new adventures. You could choose to attend a ballroom dancing class, try out a new activity or go on a weekend getaway. As you approach the half-century mark of your life, making time for these moments with your loved one can enable you to look deeper into your understanding of humanity and life in general.

7. Build a relationship with yourself
It is not just your relationships with others around you that matter, but your relationship with yourself as well. If you feel fulfilled, content with your life and happy, others who are similarly happy and healthy will also gravitate towards you.

If you are just starting to date again after a long hiatus, it is important to show others who you are on the outside by expressing your feelings and emotions openly rather than hiding them. If you have been happily married or been with your partner for many years, saying “I love you” and showing affection matters just as much now as it did when you were younger. Love deeply and willingly with the passion of your younger years while bearing in mind the wisdom you have gained over the years.

After all, love is universal.

Category(s):Relationships & Marriage

Source material from Psychology Today

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