Getting Closer: The Art of Self-Disclosure

Posted on April 3, 2017

Many of us may think that the way to turn someone into a good friend would be to share personal information or secrets about ourselves. Sharing personal stories aids in helping people to form and maintain emotionally close relationships. Even so, self-disclosure may sometimes do more harm than good to a relationship under certain circumstances. Learn the art of self-disclosure now.

Sharing our personal issues or secrets with someone adds a deeper layer to the relationship. The personal information which we reveal about ourselves may help us to maintain and negotiate our relationships, whether it is romantic or platonic. Here are some insights into the art of self-disclosure.

Self-disclosure allows us to have honest conversations about our greatest dreams and fears. Often neglected, self-disclosure can also be as simple as sharing about ourselves and our preferences. However, it is critical to note that not all self-disclosure is good disclosure. It has been found that when someone we have just met starts to pour their hearts out to us, it makes us want to run away.

Self-disclosure affects others’ views of us and our views of others. As we examine a range of studies, Collins and Miller (1994) found there are three main effects of self-disclosure on liking:
• Those who share their deepest secrets are more liked than those who don’t.
• People disclose more to those they like.
• People prefer those to whom they have made personal disclosures.

Even though self-disclosure may bring about emotional closeness between people, it is critical to note that the way we react to the self-disclosure of others can adversely affect the relationship as well. People want to be understood and the way we listen – our responsiveness, attentiveness and timing all determine whether our flower of friendship can blossom or wither.

Moreover, with the advent of technology, it has been found that the way in which people disclosure their information has been slightly varied. For instance, online media makes it easier for us to construct an identity that may not be a fully accurate representation of who we are. Photographs are edited and emails are crafted. Also, people who make use of online mediums to disclosure information about themselves have more control over the way they present such information. In face-to-face communication, there are often a lot of nonverbal cues that people may pick up from us but online communication has rendered these nonverbal cues irrelevant. Therefore, it is much easier for people to manage others’ impressions of themselves.

Furthermore, these studies have come to a clear finding that those who are successful at online dating tend to adopt positive self-disclosure and an openness about their intent. It is therefore better to share about yourself and be honest about your intention.

With all that is being said, the art of self-disclosure is definitely not easy to master. It is not just about sharing information but also in the right way and at the right time. Other than our personal disclosure, our response to the personal disclosure of others can also serve to greatly affect the friendship.


Category(s):Relationships & Marriage

Source material from Psyblog