Coping with Divorce - Resist that Urge to Compare

Posted on January 18, 2017

Photo: flickr

It’s perfectly normal to feel insecure in the midst of divorce – right after being ripped apart the life that you used to be living and needing some adjustment time to the new life settling in. During this vulnerable period, it might made you unusually concerned about what other people say or think, especially susceptible to bad advice, and even more likely to engage in uncharacteristic negative self-comparison.

Comparing your life with someone else might be a tendency but one of the principle of parting written by Wendy Paris is to Beware of the Urge to Compare.

Wendy urges to remain focus on own situation, rather than comparing it to someone else’s and most importantly, someone else’s bad divorce has zero impact on yours.

There are majority of people who do fine in divorce and some have become far happier. The key is to keep your vision trained on your own chart to the journey of happier days. Everyone has their own pace to their route of recovery and of course, romance. Comparing your former spouse with his new wife is not helping you to keep focused on your path. Empathy for your ex, might help.

The biggest challenge in any breakup is to manage the emotional transition from being part of a couple to a complete “unit” on your own. It’s not easy to switch focus to yourselves after a long period of time being part of your former spouse’s life but take this chance to gain clarity on what really matters to you and move forward into a life more in line with your desires.

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Category(s):Divorce / Divorce Adjustment

Source material from Psychology Today

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