If you were to act it out, it would most likely cause more destruction. You wouldn’t, for instance, start calling a person names because you are jealous of something they have acquired that you haven’t. That would be infantile and probably make you feel worse. If you instead neutralize the emotion, allowing yourself to feel it while acknowledging that you have it without denying it, it will end up releasing you from it. The problem exists when we either deny we are experiencing an uncomfortable emotion or we aren’t willing to sit with it to explore where it’s coming from.
When I’m counseling clients who have experienced many negative emotions and don’t seem to become free from them, I ask them to be a neutral observer of themselves while the emotion arises to see what is triggering it. That way you are using mindful awareness without judging yourself to make you feel even more guilty.
You want to accomplish two things with these emotions. First, you need to feel them and acknowledge their presence. The second thing is to spend some time exploring, without self-judgment but with insight, what might be the “why” behind the emotion. Be curious and honest with yourself when you explore what is triggering the emotion.
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Category(s):Anger Management
Source material from PsychCentral
