Five tips for letting go of negativity

Published on January 31, 2023

The definition of negativity, according to the dictionary, is “the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.” The opposite of negativity is optimism. Being pessimistic or critical of ourselves and others can damage our self-worth and affect our mood.

Here are five tips to let go of negativity for the new year.

  1. Be aware of what you are being critical of. Sometimes negativity can build up in our relationships if we are overly critical of our partner. Being critical of our co-workers can make going to work dreadful. Being critical of ourselves and our lifestyle can make us depressed or anxious. Make a list of people and things that are essential to your life.
  2. Look at your list of criticisms. Is there anyone you are critical of that needs to be forgiven? Are you being critical because they hurt you? What have the people you have been critical of done well? Reframe to see the positive.
  3. Where do you feel pessimism? Are you pessimistic about your future? What is your hope for the future? Set realistic goals and believe in yourself. Make a timeline of wins to remind yourself that you are capable.
  4. Meditate on letting go. A simple way to meditate is to close your eyes and notice where you feel negativity in your body. Imagine sending your breath there and letting go of negativity with your exhale. Inhale what you want to feel, and exhale what you want to let go of.
  5. Focus on what you want and not what you don’t want. Where we place our attention is where our energy goes. If we focus on resentment and anger, we will feel drained. Instead, if we focus on our goals and what we want, we will be more likely to obtain those things.

If you struggle to let go,  I would love to help you feel seen and heard. Call me at the MindNLife Clinic at  2521 4668 or email


Category(s):Abuse / Abuse Survivor Issues, Anger Management, Anxiety, Attachment Issues, Bereavement, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Intelligence, Empathy, Physical Abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) / Trauma / Complex PTSD, Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Confidence, Self-Criticism, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Social Anxiety / Phobia

Written by:

Dr Monica Borschel

Welcome! My passion is to help you find inner peace and emotional comfort within yourself and your relationships.

As social creatures, our relationships significantly shape our happiness, well-being, and sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced relationship-related traumas, which can leave us with emotional scars that require recovery.

Attachment traumas, such as divorce, break-ups, infidelity, neglect, and abuse, can be challenging. As an expert in attachment, loss, and trauma, I have spent many years studying how attachment styles can shift with loss and trauma.

I have seen how healthy relationships can lead to secure attachment and how insecure attachment can create turmoil in our lives. I aim to guide you toward cultivating healthy relationships with yourself, your children, your co-parent, and your romantic partner.

I can help you develop new attachment strategies that will allow you to form deeper connections and bonds with those around you. And, if you have children, I can also assist you in establishing secure attachments with both parents, which can be especially helpful in cases of separation or divorce.

I am originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, where I completed my Bachelor of Science in Psychology at The University of Utah. From there, I moved to New York City, earning my Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. I then pursued my Doctorate in Social Work and Social Administration at the University of Hong Kong. I lived and worked in Hong Kong as a practicing Clinical Psychologist from 2010-2020. I reside in California and am pursuing my Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) at California Southern University. My training and qualifications include certifications in Brainspotting and High Conflict Coaching.

These tools, combined with my extensive knowledge and experience in the field, enable me to offer you the guidance and support you need to recover from past traumas and build healthy relationships.

My approach to therapy is empathetic, supportive, and tailored to your unique needs. Every person can grow, and thrive. I am committed to helping you achieve your goals. So, whether you are struggling with relationship issues, divorce, abuse, attachment traumas, or other challenges, I am here to help you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

Email me at or call the MindnLife Clinic at 852 2521 4668