In therapy, we talk often about 'healing' our psychological wounds.
Often clients think it is getting to a place where historic hurts no longer have the power to hurt them. They imagine therapy will help them feel differently, a state of reborn, aka the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", where the protagonist sought to erase all memories and emotions related to a failed relationship. Some unwittingly hope that I (albeit without the aid of a forgetting machine), at least have a magical wand I can wave and reinstate them to a state of ease and joy, unperturbed by any misery.
In truth, the route to healing does not equal erasing our hurts into oblivion. It is effortful, it is emotionally wrenching. It requires us to reach within and reconnect again with our most intimate and personal pain. And slowly... gradually, we learn to accomodate new insights of ourselves/and others, shift our perspective to accomodate learning that came from that place of hurt.
There may still be occasions when those painful memories are triggered. We are human afterall. But when we have done the necessary work to heal ourselves, those memories will no longer stab us with the same intensity. We may stoop under it's weight for a moment, but we are not brought fully to our knees. This is healing. We are products of our life experiences. Good or bad, they enrich us. Suffering and pain teaches us valuable lessons for our soul's growth, more than pleasure ever will.
Therein lies the shape of this life, perhaps? That we come to realise the innate power within each of us to overcome, to thrive, find new meaning in our experience, and become all we can be...
- Carol
Hello, I am Carol.