The Essence of Vulnerability in Healthy Relationships

A good relationship is where you can be your complete self. And being vulnerable is one of them. Shivani Sadhoo says, a good partner will accept your vulnerabilities too simply like other good aspects of your personality, and this is what makes a relationship a good relationship.

Being vulnerable is certainly not the most comfortable feeling to have or space to be in. You are exposing yourself and letting space to possibly get hurt. There are numerous situations when it might not be safe to be vulnerable in but in your relationship, it must be. Shivani Sadhoo says several couples she works with struggle to display vulnerability to each other which potentially really halt communication and the ability to get their wishes met.

India’s marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the role of being vulnerable in a healthy relationship. Some of the instances of showing vulnerabilities include:

·       Sharing your feelings

·       Physical affection

·       Talking regarding how you have been hurt in the past

·       Talking about sex and your sexual desires

·       Expressing your requirement from your partner

Reason vulnerability is essential

Being vulnerable develops emotional intimacy and connection. Opening yourself to your spouse shows and forms trust and assists them to understand you on a deeper scale. A method to boost trust is to test it out, and by allowing your partner in, you are providing them an opportunity to earn that trust. This will increase empathy from your loved one as they get to understand you in a new manner. It lets them be there for you and meet most of your needs. For yourself, it will improve self-acceptance, and things that once were vulnerable can no longer feel that manner.

An instance

Now imagine you are truly scared about taking a significant step in your career. You have wanted this but fear of failure has forced you to go for it in the past. You are deeply worried to share this with your significant other as they have not seen this aspect of you. If you disclose to them about making the step and then you do fail, your spouse will see the entirety of this and it may alter the way they see you. In the actual scenario though, if you opened up to them they might help you process those fears, worries as they try to understand them. It provides them the opportunity to not just give support but motivate you to go for it due to the strength they see in you. If you succeed, this is something you can celebrate as a couple as you share in the other journey and joy. And if you fail, they are there to empathize with you remind you of you that you tried, your courage, and encourage you to keep attempting. Either way, you will feel closer for having shared a part of yourself — and so does your spouse for having learned something about you and having been there with you.

Some methods to practice vulnerability in your relationship

·       Discuss a goal you have for yourself for the future.

·       Have a talk regarding a vulnerability in your relationship.

·       Share a memory associated with your past when you were hurt.

·       Initiate physical touches such as a hug or holding hands.

·       Discuss your days together.

·       Ask for a need from your spouse

·       Open a conversation regarding a sexual experience with your partner that you enjoyed.