These Minor Relationship Moments That Are Actually Huge, Says Couple’s Therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Published on May 10, 2022

There are certain obvious relationship milestones that let you know when things are getting more serious, such as when you meet your would-be partner for the first time or the parents. Shivani says, however, there are also certain seemingly small moments that could truly be just as grand, and also more thrilling. In a nutshell, do not spend your whole life waiting for just the bigger things to happen. There are numerous tiny moments that are equally important, perhaps more than the bigger occasions that one usually waits for.


Here are five small relationship moments shared by India’s marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo. She says these are so small if you blink you will simply miss them.


Being at ease with silence


Take an example here, during a past weekend you and your partner walked for some distance around your locality without talking. You may find that there are three major kinds of silence in a relationship: the kind that comes post a big fight, the sort that is an outcome of being absorbed by your phone or any other distraction, and the last one that occurs while you are loving and enjoying something together without even feeling like the silence makes it awkward. This last one is the crowning jewel.


Sacrificing the last bite of food


You are eating a chocolate-flavored cake and it is one of your favorites too. As you close in on the last bite, you might be overcome with the urge to give it to your loved one. You had been saving it for last since it had the perfect amount of chocolate bits inside having a fat hunk of caramel. You watched yourself spoon it up and offer it to your partner like you were having an out-of-body experience. You would be both appalled and proud of yourself. (It is fine if you’re relieved when they tell you it’s OK to have the bite for yourself. You’re only human).


Having unplanned dates


Initially, in a relationship, everyone stays on their best date behavior, at least everyone tries that. It is all about doing cool things. Pre-decided dates are excellent, but there is also something to be said for spending time together with no actual set plan. It is a transition from the date pivoting on an activity to it being a given that you will spend time together, no matter what you do.


Spending the night without having sex


Certainly, the first time you have sex, it is a huge deal. But that first night you fell into bed, give each other a kiss, and passed out is also a significant marker. The relationship is shifting from “can’t keep your hands off each other” to the craving of simply sleeping, next to each one that occurs, with getting more attached to someone. That, in itself, is as exciting as a good session between the sheets.

Category(s):Couple Counseling, Marital Counseling, Relationships & Marriage, Relaxation techniques

Written by:

Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Shivani Misri Sadhoo is of Delhi's eminent Psychologist, Relationship expert and marriage counselor and works with India 's top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain