I’m contaminated

Published on January 8, 2021

Most of us have a certain sense of safety and control over our bodies.  After a sexual assault, a victim feels dirty and contaminated.  A child or a sexual assault survivor feels a sense of power being taken away from the control of their own body.  The shame of feeling that powerlessness can lead to feelings of contamination and a deep sense of being dirty.  After an assault, a person might blame themselves.  They might wonder why they didn’t protect themselves, why did they put themselves in that situation, why didn’t anyone protect them?

Shame

With the shame might come a deep sense of rejection.  If the assault came from someone close, they might wonder why that friend or acquaintance assaulted them.  They might develop a feeling of worthlessness that comes from feeling dirty and contaminated from the assault.  These deep feelings of shame can lead to a lowered sense of self-worth.

Speaking Out

Speaking about sexual assault that happened as a child or as an adult can feel shameful and embarrassing.  People who have been sexually assaulted might not dare to tell those close to them because they are worried that they will be judged or blamed.  Others are worried that people will feel sad for them and they don’t want sympathy.

Feeling Unsafe

If you have been sexually assaulted as a child or as an adult, you might feel unsafe around those you don’t know and with romantic partners.  You might develop hypervigilance, always looking for threat in the environment.  Some might relive the experience through flashbacks and nightmares. People who have been through trauma might have a false belief that they don’t matter or count.  They might feel that they don’t deserve love, to heal or to have nice things.

Seeking Help

If you feel that after an assault your self-worth, sense of self, and feelings of safety have been diminished or are gone, seeking help can enable you to find healing.  It can be challenging to share intense feelings.  These intense feelings can feel like panic, fear, and shame.  The feelings will be intense at the beginning of therapy, but with time the emotions will calm.  Avoidance keeps the trauma stored in your body which could result in physical, pain and sickness.  Addressing your assault with a safe therapist can help you to regain a sense of control and safety over your body and in the world.  Remember, you matter, you count, and so do your feelings and your sense of well-being.

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If you would like to set up an appointment please contact me on +852 2521 4668 or email info@doctormonicaborschel.com I can offer both an online session via Skype or a face to face session.

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels


Category(s):Abuse / Abuse Survivor Issues, Anxiety, Complex PTSD, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) / Trauma / Complex PTSD, Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Confidence, Sexual Abuse, Shame

Written by:

Dr Monica Borschel

Welcome! My passion is to help you find inner peace and emotional comfort within yourself and your relationships.

As social creatures, our relationships significantly shape our happiness, well-being, and sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced relationship-related traumas, which can leave us with emotional scars that require recovery.

Attachment traumas, such as divorce, break-ups, infidelity, neglect, and abuse, can be challenging. As an expert in attachment, loss, and trauma, I have spent many years studying how attachment styles can shift with loss and trauma.

I have seen how healthy relationships can lead to secure attachment and how insecure attachment can create turmoil in our lives. I aim to guide you toward cultivating healthy relationships with yourself, your children, your co-parent, and your romantic partner.

I can help you develop new attachment strategies that will allow you to form deeper connections and bonds with those around you. And, if you have children, I can also assist you in establishing secure attachments with both parents, which can be especially helpful in cases of separation or divorce.

I am originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, where I completed my Bachelor of Science in Psychology at The University of Utah. From there, I moved to New York City, earning my Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. I then pursued my Doctorate in Social Work and Social Administration at the University of Hong Kong. I lived and worked in Hong Kong as a practicing Clinical Psychologist from 2010-2020. I reside in California and am pursuing my Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) at California Southern University. My training and qualifications include certifications in Brainspotting and High Conflict Coaching.

These tools, combined with my extensive knowledge and experience in the field, enable me to offer you the guidance and support you need to recover from past traumas and build healthy relationships.

My approach to therapy is empathetic, supportive, and tailored to your unique needs. Every person can grow, and thrive. I am committed to helping you achieve your goals. So, whether you are struggling with relationship issues, divorce, abuse, attachment traumas, or other challenges, I am here to help you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

Email me at info@doctormonicaborschel.com or call the MindnLife Clinic at 852 2521 4668