Till “death” do us part!

Published on May 29, 2020

Really…now, this might just be one bubble that needs to be popped already.

Marriage is a very personal affair. What works in one marriage may or may not work in another. The limits, the overstepping, the rights, the love are all personal and individual choices. There are laws that stipulate what may constitute legal and illegal behaviour/ conduct in a marriage. But what brings the law into force is what either or both of the partners deems as acceptable or offensive. And in here, lay all our zillion catch 22s.

A couple may find it easier if they both want the same end, either to stay in or walk out of the marriage. Then they can work (with or without help, as the case may be) round the bends, seek resolutions, readjust, resettle, regain, accept and move on. Often in therapy, couples may start with one goal in mind and as they proceed find that the goal itself needs to change. Once the goal is clear, individuals become willing to let go, accept, take chances, and most importantly, forgive and be more thankful. These simple truths hold if individuals set out on different paths or choose to stay together and work on their relationships.

Contrarily, if one or both of the partners is persistently unable to allow for the expression, validation, safety, growth of any dimension of the other’s personality, then there exists a real choice to walk out. The world will continue to function, life will go on, albeit differently.

Children often become the excuse, why an adult might choose to stay in a marriage. Such misplaced calls are more likely to cause harm, in the long run, to the children and to the couple.

Marriage is a choice and it continues to be so till the day you die. The rest is just drama, fake and smoke. Life can be beautiful, in marriage and without it too, provided you know where you want to tread.

Category(s):Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Adult psychological development, Couple Counseling, Divorce / Divorce Adjustment, Ending a relationship issues, Family Problems, Marital Counseling, Relationships & Marriage, Self-Care / Self Compassion

Written by:

Mini Nair

Mini Nair completed Masters in Clinical Psychology and is a certified Cognitive Behaviour Therapist. Also qualified in Human Resources Management, she has been associated with the psycho-socio-educational-familial aspects of the lives of children and adults for over 19 years now.
Her work includes student and parent counseling, medical psychotherapeutics, psychodiagnostics, teaching undergraduate students of psychology, conducting Behaviour Management workshops for students, parents and teachers. She has already worked with some leading educational institutions and hospitals in Mumbai and other metros in India. Her interest in spreading awareness about personality development and growth has led her to contribute articles to the Times Wellness supplements. She currently works as an Independent Consultant.
A multi-faceted personality with formal training in classical dance too, she blogs to convey thoughts that can't stay inside her head anymore!

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