6 Regular People Share Why You Should Reclaim Your Sexual Relationship with Yourself

Published on February 27, 2020

Your sexuality is an innate part of who we are. So many people suffer from lack of or misinformation about sex and sexuality though, and as a result suffer in silence and often for long periods of time – not knowing where to go to seek support and who to trust.

My non-coaches friends share why it is important that you reclaim your sexual relationship with yourself here:

1.) “Having an appreciation with my own sexuality makes me more independent, confident and ready to be in a relationship that is based on honesty and mutual respect. I am able to convey my needs and at the same time understand the other persons needs and find some common ground for each other, to grow more closer to one another. No pretences.” – Melissa, 31
2.) “Sexuality is an important part of being human. Denying that buries part of our true selves that is meant to be expressed and embraced. Healing the relationship with our own sexuality is essential to our happiness and health.” –Xinran, 28
3.) “Sexuality is a part of our nature, and it is important to honor and be aware of its presence and development within ourselves. Much of how we see ourselves sexually has been predefined by societal expectations and conditioning. With exploration and more awareness, we can connect to who we are sexually, and have more freedom from stereotypes and labels. Our freedom comes from honouring and accepting who we are, regardless of how the world views us.” – Zoey, 39
4.) “Sexuality is a symbol of our being and acceptance of who we are inside. To be able love freely without fear not condemnation from oneself is the greatest freedom” – Lisa, 45
5.) I think sexuality is important because it is in a way linked to our own self expression and our appreciation for ourselves. I think to reclaim it is to take back the power that has been lost to us. And it’s also a way for us to go back into the knowing the sexuality is a part of us and it should be accepted and loved for what it is without judgement. – D, 24
6.) Acceptance and understanding on our own sexuality is critical to our own mental health and also to our relationship. Speaking from a failed marriage, my previous partner appeared to be in denial of her sexuality which caused our marriage then to break. While I had tried to support and also going with her to various support groups, it was a challenge as she was always in denial. Now as our marriage has ended, I have started a new healthy relationship with my current partner, and I have an open communciation with her on not just our likes/dislikes, but also connecting mentally which makes our sexuality more passionate and closer. – Sebastian

I appreciate their sharing, and hope you do too! Get sexuality counseling/ coaching from me. You can check out my services here www.eroscoaching.com/services.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.


Category(s):Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Love, Sexual Problems / Sex Therapy

Written by:

Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and completed her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in 2017. In practice for eight years, she is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution on the OMTimes Radio Network. She has published three books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga and From Princess to Queen.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again.

Dr. Martha Tara Lee belongs to Underneath The Moon in Singapore