Will it ever get any better?

Published on August 5, 2019

Life includes a certain amount of suffering. Some of the sufferings include rejection, failure, loss and trauma.  When we are going through a difficult time, it can be hard to see the light. When we are depressed or sad, we can only remember the depressed or sad times.  It can be challenging to feel motivated to carry on when we feel like things will never get better.  Here are some thought exercises to get you through the dark times.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion means that you speak kindly to yourself. You acknowledge your feelings and take the time to learn from them.  If you grew up in a toxic family or later found yourself in relationships that were devaluing, self-compassion can feel forced.  Recognise your inner monologue and change it to one that is supportive of yourself.  Abusing yourself is unhelpful and speaking kindly to yourself makes you a more compassionate person to yourself and to others.

The hero’s journey

Throughout time, stories and legends have told about heroes who have had to go through the darkness to conquer demons. When they overcome these inner and outer demons, they emerge as heroes.  Consider what your journey is.  What is the dark, what are your demons. What can you learn from this experience?

Do something for yourself daily

If you are feeling anxious, do something every day that makes you feel calm.Things that are calming are silence, nature, meditating, music, and art.  If you are depressed, find something to energise you, like dancing or another exercise.

Understand your needs

Some people put their needs behind the needs of others because they don’t understand their own worth.  Some people have set their needs aside for so long that they don’t know what they need. Take this time to understand yourself better.  See it as an exciting journey into self-discovery.

Social network

Reach out to friends and family who are compassionate.  Isolating yourself will only lead to more profound loneliness.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Most people will need some guidance or support in their life.


To make an appointment with Dr Borschel please contact +852 2521 4668 or email m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Category(s):Abuse / Abuse Survivor Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Grief, Loss, Bereavement, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) / Trauma / Complex PTSD

Written by:

Dr Monica Borschel

Dr Borschel specialises in Attachment and Loss. She is experienced in helping adults, teens, children, and families adjust to anxiety, trauma, abuse, divorce, separation, or loss of a loved one.

Dr. Borschel’s attachment-based psychodynamic therapy along with EMDR, enables her clients to find healing within themselves. In so doing, she can help adults, teens, and children to overcome grief, anxiety, trauma, neglect, emotional, verbal, physical abuse, and child abuse.

Furthermore, as an attachment specialist, she also helps individuals understand relationship patterns which prevent them from developing or maintaining healthy relationships. She is able to help reduce anxiety, insomnia, depression and promote confidence and self-esteem. This may include deciding what is in the best interest of the children during custody disputes, strengthening the relationship and communication between the parents and the children.

Dr. Borschel is originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, U.S.A. She graduated with her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University in New York City. She later moved to Hong Kong to pursue her doctorate at the University of Hong Kong in Social Work and Social Administration.

Registered Clinical Psychologist with The Hong Kong Society of Counseling and Psychology. Member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the American Counseling Association (ACA), The British Psychological Society (BPS), the Hong Kong Family Law Association (HKFLA) and EMDRIA certified therapist.

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