From Old Wounds You’re Not Healing

Published on May 10, 2019


At 3 a.m., in a city bar, Lorena was drunk and starving for attention. It's hot, drippy, delicious, and she couldn't get enough of it from her flirting.


Her husband, himself a self-confessed drug addict, kept calling her. But she's already hooked with a stranger inside a steamy sidewalk motel. They cursed and yelled at each other over the phone.


When Lorena came home later in the day, her husband was waiting. After throwing things at him, she flirted with him and had hard sex. Even with stomach aches, Lorena's husband drugged himself to have sex with her.


That's one "sticky" relationship. Simply put, toxic. Unhealthy. Even deadly. It's the dysfunction. Two incomplete, wounded individuals fused by mutual codependency and enmeshment.


They think they're in love. Their sex produced a cocaine high and they mistake it for true love. But in reality, it's not. They're both just strongly addicted. So needy. Mentally and emotionally dysfunctional to the extreme.


Where does it come from?


It comes from all things we didn’t receive as a child. From the deprivation we feel inside ourselves. From the old wounds we are not healing. From what smells similar or familiar from ancient relationship patterns (often with parents).


From our addictions, fears, and insecurities. From a broken family system. From a giant cultural landscape we tend to embrace. From not doing the necessary work on ourselves.


I can go on and on here. But I’ve to stop here or this post will turn into a book! 


Chances are, you can relate to one or a few of the things I’m saying here. It means you’re most likely experiencing what’s “sticky.” The high drama that hijacks your logic and emotions.


Time to get better. The rest of your life depends on it.


Secrets of Your Self:


Category(s):Addictions, Codependency / Dependency, Love addiction

Written by:

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist

Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist belongs to Dr. Angelo O. Subida Psychotherapy Clinic in Philippines

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