Understanding Addiction

Published on January 22, 2019


A 30-year-old man is addicted to pornography and alcohol. For over 10 years of his young life, he has become progressively addicted to his chosen “drugs.”


In session, he heard himself saying to his wife, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I was doing it. I don’t seem to get enough.” He abstained for awhile but relapsed again.


His wife caught him installing a CCTV in the ladies’ room of their office and downloading its images of women into his laptop and smartphone.


A person who is genuinely addicted to a substance, activity, or person does not feel immediate relief if addiction stops for some time.


I’ve known of a chain smoker who quit smoking 15 years ago but still has a desire for smoking. After a long abstinence, he lately resumes heavy smoking more frequently than before.


Addictions in whatever form never fully satisfy. They tend to continue endlessly, even uncontrollably.


 Because the addiction itself is not the root need. It’s merely a symptom.


The root or real need in addictions is not for a drink or drug or activity. Or to be freed from a repetitive compulsion for a fix.


The root or real need is fundamental to the human heart. In most cases, it’s a deep hunger for love and acceptance.


Yesterday, I was counseling a chronic alcoholic young woman of only 22. All throughout our session, she’s sobbing.


It turned out that she’s addicted to alcohol because she’s still seeking, at a very deep inner level, attachment to and love of her parents that she never experienced in life.

Category(s):Addictions, Control Issues, Family of Origin Issues / Codependency

Written by:

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist

Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at www.drsubida.com.

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist belongs to Dr. Angelo O. Subida Psychotherapy Clinic in Philippines

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