Grief is one of the most tragic and beautiful experiences that one can go through. Our heart aches, and we yearn for the one that we lost. We see them in crowds, we remember their scent and dream about them. We might feel confused and mentally slow. We might become angry or distant. Just as a snake sheds his skin to grow, grief can lead us to become more resilient and compassionate. Pain is an opportunity to analyse where our priorities are, and recognise who we love and appreciate. Here are some tips to move through the bittersweet:
Appreciation: Appreciate what the other person taught you and use that to help you become a better person. Appreciate those that love you and that you love.
Love: Tell those that you care about why you love them and why they are important to you. This helps you to stay connected and also receive social support.
A time to grieve and a time to focus: If you have lost your focus or motivation for life, set a time to grieve. For example, if you have children to take care of, allow yourself some space at night when they are sleeping to cry, journal, feel your emotions or reflect on the loss.
Be patient with yourself: Loss might slow down your brain. You might not be able to get things done as quickly or as efficiently as you used too. Be patient with yourself through this process. Go slow throughout the day and prioritise what must be done and what can wait.
Meditate: Close your eyes, slow down your breathing. Focus on creating a space around your heart, let your heart be as big as it needs to be. Breathe into that space. Allow your feelings to be there.
Don't feel ashamed to reach out for support from friends, family or a professional.
Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment. Contact her at m.borschel@mindnlife.com or schedule an appointment at +852 2521 4668
Dr. Borschel specializes in Attachment and Loss. She is experienced in helping adults, teens, children, and families adjust to divorce, separation, loss of a loved one, and loss of finance. She also specializes in reducing or resolving conflict in divorce, marriage and in the workplace. This may include deciding what is in the best interest of the children during custody disputes, strengthening the relationship and communication between the parents and the children.