Reflections On Being Perfect

Published on December 6, 2016

It’s so easy to look in the mirror and think, rightly or wrongly, that we are a failure.

We are constantly judging ourselves by the standards that others have placed upon us. Wealth, body image, house location, children’s school, holiday destinations or clothing are only a few of the external factors by which we are measured and by which we measure ourselves.

Those are material, and easy to spot and address.

Then there are the other external expectations, the ones we internalise. They are of a different breed, and they go deep.

Be a good son, an engaged employee, a hot lover, a dutiful spouse, a devout disciple, a dedicated member of the community…these are all good for what they are, but not when we subscribe to them to satisfy others and against our inner nature and desires.

It's hard to always try and be perfect. The amount of energy we must expend is incredible and much of it goes towards maintaining a façade.

I say, f*#k maintaining the façade!

You are beautiful, lovable, smart, kind and important as you are!

A friend (thanks Robert) once gave me a fridge magnet with a message that was encouraging and confirming all at once, it said:

Risk more than others think is safe.

Care more than others think is wise.

Dream more than others think is practical.

Expect more than others think is possible.


At birth we were gifted with all the tools, the skills and the energy to be amazing human beings, amazing as we were intended to be, not like someone else thought we should be.

Go on that journey, reconnect to your Essence and go be the amazing human being you already are.

Design your own version of being a daughter, a husband, a business owner, an activist, a friend, a partner or a leader.

To my fellow entrepreneur I say, believe.

To my fellow men I say, there is only one way to being a modern man, your way.

To my fellow husbands I say, be open to receive as much as you give.

To my fellow fathers I say, allow yourself the space to learn how to be one.

To all I say, look in the mirror and admire your marvellous gorgeousness.

Be with love.


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Category(s):Happiness, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, Mindfulness

Written by:

Dr Oberdan Marianetti

Dr Oberdan Marianetti is the founder of Essence Coaching, and the creator of the EssenceĀ® model.

As a qualified Psychologist and Sexologist, Oberdan has successfully helped individuals and couples revive the excitement in their relationships and sex life.

He has a keen desire to help people reconnect with their true selves - their EssenceĀ® - and form meaningful connection with others.

Whether through private consultations or public workshops, Oberdan is committed to helping each individual rediscover the power and beauty of their own sexuality in an open, safe and non-judgemental environment.

With the experience accumulated from private practice, he brings new perspectives on intimacy and sexuality through highly engaging and informative presentations and workshops on sexuality, sex and relationships."

His work has been published by the British Psychological Society and Oxford University Press; he is a regular speaker and has developed his own Leadership model (Essence Leadership), which was featured in sector-specific publications and in TED.

Dr Oberdan Marianetti belongs to Dr Oberdan Marianetti in Singapore

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