Healing Toxic Anger

Published on February 13, 2014

Many people have habitual and uncontrollable anger. Their anger is selfish. It's an automatic response to things not going their way. It could involve rage, explosion of temper, shouting, verbal abuse, and physical violence.

When I met Lito, he was easily enraged and quick to explode at his wife and children. In various situations, even with slight irritation, he'd unleash the earthquake of his temper and rock them with aftershocks. He hurt them a lot yet he confessed how he felt so powerless to take control his anger problem.

Instead of admitting the flaw, Lito dismissed his "rageaholic" nature as "just the way I am." Of course, it's not true. He can choose to see his condition as it really is, seek help, control and manage his rage or anger. If Lito becomes open to be taught, his life-damaging angry outbursts can be fixed.

I notice that, in most anger management programs, only surface problems are dealt with, leaving the root causes of the anger untouched. The goal of therapy and recovery needs to be the elimination of the toxic anger itself.

Among other things, this is usually accomplished by "resolving the past." When one is habitually angry, it's very likely that one can trace the root of that anger to someone else. The person or issue at hand may not even be what one is angry about.

Category(s):Addictions, Aggression & Violence, Anger Management

Written by:

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist

Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at www.drsubida.com.

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist belongs to Dr. Angelo O. Subida Psychotherapy Clinic in Philippines