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  • Fear of the Abyss: Healing the Wounds of Shame

    In my years of practice as a psychotherapist, I have come to know that people can actually heal, not just cope better—the best hope current cognitive-behavioral therapy models offer. Depending on the difficulty of their problems and the degree of self-examination they are willing to do, people can truly heal—leaving behind old patterns of behavior, as well as their attendant thoughts and feelings.

    My orientation is psychodynamic, meaning that I believe in helping people get to the root of the issues that trouble them. A person’s history or narrative, and the unconscious (thoughts and feelings not in awareness) are keys to this process. My goal in this kind of therapy is integration—to view the many different components of one’s personality with love, compassion, and honor, and to understand that we all have some tendencies we don’t like that can be tempered by the positive ones. It is unnecessary to deny these tendencies, which can leave people feeling inauthentic. What some call the shadow side must be acknowledged and embraced, not split off almost like a separate person. My book will not tell you how to cope with these feelings, but will encourage you to see yourself as a whole person—though maybe one with some feelings you have been running from—and set you on the path to healing.


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    Date Posted: June 29, 2012

    Categories: Control Issues, Self-Criticism, Shame


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