Generally, we tend to see more explicit displays of anger from men as compared to women. This can be traced back to gender socialization norms where men are taught that the only negative emotion acceptable is anger which can thereby explain why they tend to lash out when they are feeling any sort of negative emotion, be it sadness, melancholy, jealousy or fear. In comparison, women are socialized to direct their negative emotions inwards, which is evinced by the higher rates of internalizing disorders in women compared to men.
Men may resort to anger more often than women because they find it easier to talk about anger rather than other perceived ‘emasculating’ emotions, and this may also be true if it helps them to feel more in control of the situation, their emotions, and the people around them.
According to psychologists, anger is thought of as a secondary emotion which means there is usually at least another emotion lying beneath that is driving the anger, and that is usually fear. For example, when a man is angry that their partner is spending more time with their friends, this anger may be a disguise for the fear that their partner does not enjoy his company as much as theirs.
Anger is also a quick, reactive emotion – in other words, you may not even have registered the primary emotion before it triggered the expression of anger. For some, the feeling and expression of anger may even be habitual and thus, automatic. Hence, it is worthwhile to take a step back before expressing that anger to see if there may be anything else that is causing you to feel the way you do, and if resolving that would be a more effective solution to the problem.
Being aware of what is really causing the anger makes it easier to eliminate the root cause of your unhappiness. Treating the symptom (anger) is only a short-term solution – as long as the root cause still exists, it will continue to be a recurring problem until you confront it. Initiating a conversation about your emotions may not be an easy task, but the benefits to yourself and the relationship may be worth considering.
Category(s):Anger Management, Self help groups, Self-Care / Self Compassion
Source material from This Is Insider
