Stop unhealthy comparison

Posted on August 30, 2018

Humans tend to compare themselves to others. People of all ages are equally prone to constantly comparing themselves to others. The reason for teenagers doing so is due to the process of developing a distinct personality and a stronger sense of individuality during a certain phase in life. As adolescents, children are often still discovering and learning more about themselves and their connections with the outside world. Maturation requires one to become independent and be able to make decisions on their own.

Comparison makes one feel negatively about themselves most of the time, especially when the comparisons made are based on superficial characteristics that do not represent who we are as a person. Adults tend to engage in unhealthy comparisons during a life transition period such as adjusting to a new job, going through a divorce or break up, retirement etc. which forces them to come to terms with certain characteristics of theirs as an individual, triggering temporary confusion, anxiety and insecurities. Hence, inferiority and vulnerability felt during these life transitions trigger people to compare themselves to others.

The following are ways parents can help their children with comparison issues:

1. Empathize with your children

2. Consistently compliment your child for good character and behavior rather than material accomplishments.

3. Say “I love you for who you are.”

4. Spend one on one time with your child and engage in fun activities.

5. Participate in activities that engage the mind and body (eg. Yoga) as it helps one feel complete and calm.

6. Share some of his/her interesting childhood memories with your child so that he/she remembers how he/she has always been.

The following are ways you can help yourself overcome comparison issues:

1. Be involved in activities that engage the mind and body (eg. Yoga).

2. Spend time with young people or the elderly as they remind us of who we are.

3. Bear in mind that feelings and one’s way of thinking are what makes you unique.

4. Surround yourself with love and positive vibes.

5. Have empathy and compassion for others.

6. Be kind to others.

Life is filled with obstacles. These experiences equip us with the ability to overcome anxiety and commit to something you feel at ease about or even committing to someone you love. Establish positive relationships with others and you will find yourself happier than ever. Do not let comparison hold you back from the exciting opportunities that await you!


Category(s):Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions, Child and/or Adolescent Issues, Health Psychology, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance, Positive Psychology, Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Love

Source material from Psychology Today


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