Everyone will face rejection in their lives. No matter what the issue is about, whether it’s the end of a relationship or not getting the job we want, we often feel like we had made a mistake to cause the rejection, and that we are to blame. These negative thoughts and feelings affect our confidence and self-esteem.
Start viewing rejection differently - as opportunities for empowerment. Martha Bodyfelt gives the example of fun house mirrors. Standing in front of one presents you a warped image of yourself, but you recognise that this image is not you and would most likely laugh and move on. Rejection shares a similar concept. Somebody rejecting you does not have anything to do with you as a person. The image of yourself that you have after a rejection is like the warped image in the mirror – you know it’s not you, or your reflection. Hence, any negative reactions or thoughts you have is to the warped, untrue image of yourself after rejection. Step away and stop worrying about how you look. Focus your attention on your accomplishments, the positive aspects in your life and what makes you feel good.
Rejection can also be blessing in disguise. Bodyfelt gives two examples. The first was when she was laid off from her job. She realised later on that the rejection meant she left a company that did not value her skills, opening opportunities to seek work that was more fulfilling for her. She remarked that she would probably still be working at the company, feeling unhappy about her job if she had not been laid off.
In her second example, she mentioned she was devastated after her partner broke up with her. However, she realised later that the relationship was unhealthy and controlling. The rejection prevented her from spending more time on someone who was not deserving of her love.
Although the rejections we face will be different, they are similar at the core. It may be the path to something better, or a wake-up call to focus and better yourself.
Category(s):Self-Care / Self Compassion, Self-Esteem
Source material from Psych Central
