Using Self-Talk to Save Your Relationship

Posted on January 12, 2017

Self-talk has a self-explanatory definition--simple, you communicate with yourself. It is when you interpret and analyze one's own messages and is a good method to combat against destructive thoughts. Thus, using self-talk is a cost-efficient and easy way of addressing issues in a relationship by going through one's difficulties with reason and patience.

Psychologist Pamela Butler gives five steps, but in summary one should always be conscious of what their thoughts are saying. Listening and being aware are key to identifying if the thoughts that are running through your head are supportive or destructive. Once you have, you can begin to identify the issue. Are you someone who consistently self-doubts and self-judge? Or are you someone who constantly aims at pleasing others at the expense of your own health? Finding the root of your stress and issues is important as you can find a more suitable approach to combating your destructive thoughts.

Next it is important to alter these thoughts into positive, supportive ones. Changing "I'm no good at sharing my feelings with my significant other" to "I can try to express one thought a day with my significant other" can have tremendous effects on your actions. Changes begin with baby steps! These alterations should take into consideration a harmonious balance between your own needs and the needs of your significant other. Be appreciative of your partner, but also leave room to respect your health and wishes.

Finally, develop a course of action based on your new supportive thoughts. Monitor your changes and make more if things remain stagnant. Have patience and resilience!

Category(s):Relationships & Marriage

Source material from PsychCentral

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