"My Friend Just Died, What Should I Do?"

Posted on February 1, 2016

This is how the man responded..

"I'm old. What this means is that I have survived (so far) and a lot of people I love did not. I wish I could say that you get used to people dying. But you do not. It tears a hole through my heart whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. I do not want it to just pass. My scars are a testament of my love and the relationship I had with that person. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and even be cut but also healed.

As for grief, you will find that it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you, reminds you of the beauty of the ship that was. At that point, all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Perhaps it is a memory, a scent or a photograph.

Initially, the waves that come at you are 100 feet tall and crash over you mercilessly. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you the chance to breathe. After some time, even though the waves are still 100 feet tall, they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and take you down. But in between, you breathe, you function and you live. Somewhere down the line, the waves may only be 50 feet tall. Whilst they still come, you can foresee them coming. Perhaps on birthdays, anniversaries and the holidays. You see them coming and you prepare yourself. Somehow you know, whilst they still crash over you, you come out soaking wet but still you survive, you are ok.

The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't want them too. You'll survive these waves, have lots of scars from so many loves."


Category(s):Grief, Loss, Bereavement

Source material from The Minds Journal


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