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As marriage therapist Christine Wilke has seen firsthand, there are other less obvious ways spouses can break their marital bond. Many are just as damaging as affairs. Below, Wilke and other relationship experts share seven ways you may be betraying your spouse without even realizing it.
1. You always put the kids first.
While you should prioritize your kids' needs, putting too much focus on them could cheat your spouse out of your energy and full presence, said Otto Collins, a relationship coach.
"You think focusing on your kids and other obligations will strengthen and make your relationship better but instead the exact opposite happens," said Collins. "You and your spouse end up becoming strangers who pass each other in the hallway and passion and connection withers and dies."
2. You emotionally cheat by confiding in someone else.
Your spouse should be your emotional confidante, the sounding board you turn to when you need to share just about anything. If you start emotionally opening up to someone else - especially someone you're attracted to - you could be well on your way to having an emotional affair, said Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Foojan Zeine. (It's especially bad if you start sharing unflattering details about your relationship with this new person.)
3. You're glued to your phone all day.
It doesn't matter if you're sifting through important work emails or texting your buddies about fantasy football picks, spending an excessive amount of time on your phone when you're in the company of your spouse sends a clear message to him or her: I could be spending my downtime with you, but I'd rather be on my phone.
4. You cheat on your spouse financially.
Those secret credit card purchases you've been making behind your spouse's back are bound to come to light eventually -- and when they do, it could spell major trouble. "When one mate withholds financial information, it breaks down the fundamental trust in their partnership," said Zeine. "The partner who has to pay the consequence of the other’s financial actions usually feels cheated.. You no longer feel like part of a team."
5. You spend more time with your friends than with your spouse.
Having hobbies and interests outside of your marriage is important -- and being together 24/7 isn't exactly healthy. But it's a problem when your spouse feels as though he or she has taken a backseat to nearly everything else in your life, especially your friends.
6. You rant about your spouse to others.
You may think venting to friends about your husband's annoying grooming habits is harmless, but a small betrayal of trust occurs any time you say something to friends or family that derides your spouse, said relationship coach Susie Collins.
7. You stonewall your spouse.
Stonewalling your spouse -- becoming defensive and withdrawing from an interaction or argument instead of talking it though -- can be extremely harmful to your relationship, said Zeine.
When you don't speak up, the worst is usually assumed. "The passive-aggressive silent treatment gives our mate the space to interpret whatever they want about us," she said.
This article was adapted from the link below. Follow the link to read it in full.
Category(s):Relationships & Marriage
Source material from Huffington Post
