Play versus academics and work

Published on April 8, 2020

Annie was only 12, but she already felt burnt out.  Every morning she woke up at 6 am so that she could catch the bus at 6:45. She rarely had time for breakfast.  She had gone to bed at 10 pm the night before because her homework was more than usual.  She thought of the day ahead, class after class.  She also had three exams to take that day.  She hadn’t had time to see her friends in weeks.  She felt brain fog from fatigue and wondered how she would find the energy to make it through the day.

Maggie has been overwhelmed at work and home.  Her company has been losing money since the Coronavirus. Her employees couldn’t bring in an income because people had either left the country or were too nervous about setting up meetings.  She felt like it was all on her to save the company.  On top of all of that, her mother had just passed away.  She felt overwhelmed with grief and stress.  When she thought of taking a day off or relaxing, she would get anxious.  She felt too guilty to take care of herself.

Importance of Play

Adults and children both need play.  For children, play is how they release stress, learn how to negotiate, innovate and problem solve.  When children play with other children, they also learn social and communication skills.  As the world becomes more competitive and stressful, it’s a mistake to think that play needs to take a back seat to productivity.  When stress levels increase, play is even more important to keep motivation and focus.

Adults also need to play.  Going to work, coming home to household chores and taking care of the children can be stressful if there isn’t any downtime.  Without downtime, fatigue and exhaustion set in.

Here are some ideas to help you play, even when you are busy:

1. Humour

How can you use humour to de-stress? Can you watch something funny?  Can you respect your feelings and still take yourself less seriously?  If you have kids, how can you all laugh together?  Is there a fun board game you can play?

2. Don’t be afraid to get dirty

Children love to get dirty with paint, dirt, food etc. Can you set up a place in your house for you and your kids to paint together?  Can you play outside together?  What about making a fun meal together? Nature and creating can be relaxing.

3. Act like a kid again

If you have children, play with them on their level.  Let them lead the play.  Step into their world and let them be the boss.  Enjoy the time off.  If you don’t have kids, allow yourself to act like one.  Sleep in, stay in your comfortable clothes, watch cartoons, and stay present.  Small children live in the moment.  They enjoy the toy, or their imaginary play world and forget about anything else around them.

4. Express your feelings through play

Emotions can be felt in our body. Small children are great at expressing with their bodies; they jump and dance when they are excited.  Turn on some music and dance it off, or get some playdough and express with your hands.  What other ways can you think of to express physically?

5. Set time aside to play or relax every day

People often say they are too busy to decompress, adding more stress and tension in the mind and body. Allow your children to play daily after homework or chores.  As an adult, allow yourself time to decompress by allowing yourself to relax without guilt.

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If you would like to set up an appointment please contact me on +852 2521 4668 or email m.borschel@mindnlife.com. You can book a private or Skype session.

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova from Pexels


Category(s):Anxiety, Caregiver Issues / Stress, Parenting, Relationships & Marriage, Stress Management

Written by:

Dr Monica Borschel

Welcome! My passion is to help you find inner peace and emotional comfort within yourself and your relationships.

As social creatures, our relationships significantly shape our happiness, well-being, and sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced relationship-related traumas, which can leave us with emotional scars that require recovery.

Attachment traumas, such as divorce, break-ups, infidelity, neglect, and abuse, can be challenging. As an expert in attachment, loss, and trauma, I have spent many years studying how attachment styles can shift with loss and trauma.

I have seen how healthy relationships can lead to secure attachment and how insecure attachment can create turmoil in our lives. I aim to guide you toward cultivating healthy relationships with yourself, your children, your co-parent, and your romantic partner.

I can help you develop new attachment strategies that will allow you to form deeper connections and bonds with those around you. And, if you have children, I can also assist you in establishing secure attachments with both parents, which can be especially helpful in cases of separation or divorce.

I am originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, where I completed my Bachelor of Science in Psychology at The University of Utah. From there, I moved to New York City, earning my Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. I then pursued my Doctorate in Social Work and Social Administration at the University of Hong Kong. I lived and worked in Hong Kong as a practicing Clinical Psychologist from 2010-2020. I reside in California and am pursuing my Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) at California Southern University. My training and qualifications include certifications in Brainspotting and High Conflict Coaching.

These tools, combined with my extensive knowledge and experience in the field, enable me to offer you the guidance and support you need to recover from past traumas and build healthy relationships.

My approach to therapy is empathetic, supportive, and tailored to your unique needs. Every person can grow, and thrive. I am committed to helping you achieve your goals. So, whether you are struggling with relationship issues, divorce, abuse, attachment traumas, or other challenges, I am here to help you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

Email me at info@doctormonicaborschel.com or call the MindnLife Clinic at 852 2521 4668