The truth is, toxic people are a part of life.
They’re everywhere - our neighborhoods, offices, governments, hospitals, schools, and sadly, often right among our family members, relatives and friends.
A number of qualities characterize them and their typical toxic pattern of attacking or sabotaging your mental and emotional health:
• they spread negativity about you and life in general
• they badmouth and criticize you all the time
• they play the victim when called out regarding their toxic speech or behavior
• they’re too reactive when jealous
• they hurtfully don’t care about how you feel
• they’re extremely selfish
• they keep disappointing you with their psychological manipulation
• they lack remorse and responsibility, chronically self-justifying
• they make you feel bad by pushing your “guilt button”
• they waste your time, energy, and resources
In the case of Victor, it’s not difficult to see a close link between his worsening anxiety panic attacks and his years of being verbally and emotionally abused by his mother and sister.
The last time I heard from him was after a recent therapy session. He already left home. He found a job and, finally, chose to live freely.
That move alone contributes significantly to the treatment of his anxiety panic. He is able to breathe better, be more focused. His heart is healing faster.
Do you need a “toxic people detox?”
Move on. Avoid or leave their presence. Remember not to take the toxic behavior personally. It’s about them, not you. Stop pretending their abusive behavior is ok. Speak up. Set and defend healthy boundaries. Take time to treat and take care of you.
“It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” —Daniell Koepke
www.drsubida.com
Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at www.drsubida.com.