Will it ever get any better?

Published on August 5, 2019

Life includes a certain amount of suffering. Some of the sufferings include rejection, failure, loss and trauma.  When we are going through a difficult time, it can be hard to see the light. When we are depressed or sad, we can only remember the depressed or sad times.  It can be challenging to feel motivated to carry on when we feel like things will never get better.  Here are some thought exercises to get you through the dark times.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion means that you speak kindly to yourself. You acknowledge your feelings and take the time to learn from them.  If you grew up in a toxic family or later found yourself in relationships that were devaluing, self-compassion can feel forced.  Recognise your inner monologue and change it to one that is supportive of yourself.  Abusing yourself is unhelpful and speaking kindly to yourself makes you a more compassionate person to yourself and to others.

The hero’s journey

Throughout time, stories and legends have told about heroes who have had to go through the darkness to conquer demons. When they overcome these inner and outer demons, they emerge as heroes.  Consider what your journey is.  What is the dark, what are your demons. What can you learn from this experience?

Do something for yourself daily

If you are feeling anxious, do something every day that makes you feel calm.Things that are calming are silence, nature, meditating, music, and art.  If you are depressed, find something to energise you, like dancing or another exercise.

Understand your needs

Some people put their needs behind the needs of others because they don’t understand their own worth.  Some people have set their needs aside for so long that they don’t know what they need. Take this time to understand yourself better.  See it as an exciting journey into self-discovery.

Social network

Reach out to friends and family who are compassionate.  Isolating yourself will only lead to more profound loneliness.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Most people will need some guidance or support in their life.

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To make an appointment with Dr Borschel please contact +852 2521 4668 or email m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash


Category(s):Abuse / Abuse Survivor Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Intelligence, Grief, Loss, Bereavement, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) / Trauma / Complex PTSD

Written by:

Dr Monica Borschel

Welcome! My passion is to help you find inner peace and emotional comfort within yourself and your relationships.

As social creatures, our relationships significantly shape our happiness, well-being, and sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced relationship-related traumas, which can leave us with emotional scars that require recovery.

Attachment traumas, such as divorce, break-ups, infidelity, neglect, and abuse, can be challenging. As an expert in attachment, loss, and trauma, I have spent many years studying how attachment styles can shift with loss and trauma.

I have seen how healthy relationships can lead to secure attachment and how insecure attachment can create turmoil in our lives. I aim to guide you toward cultivating healthy relationships with yourself, your children, your co-parent, and your romantic partner.

I can help you develop new attachment strategies that will allow you to form deeper connections and bonds with those around you. And, if you have children, I can also assist you in establishing secure attachments with both parents, which can be especially helpful in cases of separation or divorce.

I am originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, where I completed my Bachelor of Science in Psychology at The University of Utah. From there, I moved to New York City, earning my Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University. I then pursued my Doctorate in Social Work and Social Administration at the University of Hong Kong. I lived and worked in Hong Kong as a practicing Clinical Psychologist from 2010-2020. I reside in California and am pursuing my Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) at California Southern University. My training and qualifications include certifications in Brainspotting and High Conflict Coaching.

These tools, combined with my extensive knowledge and experience in the field, enable me to offer you the guidance and support you need to recover from past traumas and build healthy relationships.

My approach to therapy is empathetic, supportive, and tailored to your unique needs. Every person can grow, and thrive. I am committed to helping you achieve your goals. So, whether you are struggling with relationship issues, divorce, abuse, attachment traumas, or other challenges, I am here to help you find the peace and comfort you deserve.

Email me at info@doctormonicaborschel.com or call the MindnLife Clinic at 852 2521 4668