Is regret a warning light?

Published on January 4, 2019

Happy New Year everyone, and thank you for the ongoing support!!!

I noticed a pattern that continues to show up in conversations with my clients and I want to offer it as an opportunity for reflection and growth.

We probably all have some regrets, tiny or huge that they may be, they tend to be there.

Clients frequently share stories of regret and the pain and disruption it seemingly causes to their current life experience.

We usually investigate this stories further, both in their past and present content. What I find surprising is that eventually the large, large, large majority of clients realise that while they feel regret, they know that they did the best they could given the knowledge, skills, tools and circumstances at at time.

And so I wonder, if there is a part of our 'knowing' that knows we did the best we could, how come there is a part of our 'knowing' that feels the need to regret it?

My hypothesis is that the object of our regret is misplaced.

The commonality in these stories is "Current regret is linked to past events, but experienced in the present".

My hypothesis is that the equation could be "Current regret is linked to current events, which we cannot address" for whatever true or imagined reason.

I appreciate I cannot do justice to this idea in a short article, but perhaps the mechanics of what I am pointing to are irrelevant.

Perhaps what is more important is asking ourselves, "given that I currently experience regret, albeit about past events, is there anything different I should be / do TODAY that I am failing to address?"

Who knows!?!?! Perhaps just like a warning light on a car's dashboard, regret is nothing but a warning sign that we are currently off balance and should adjust our course.

Thank you for reading my article.

I base all my articles on real case studies and research findings that are relevant to my work and my clients.

Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or if you would like to explore something together.


Category(s):Anxiety, Life Purpose / Meaning / Inner-Guidance

Written by:

Dr Oberdan Marianetti

Dr Oberdan Marianetti is the founder of Essence Coaching, and the creator of the Essence® model.

As a qualified Psychologist and Sexologist, Oberdan has successfully helped individuals and couples revive the excitement in their relationships and sex life.

He has a keen desire to help people reconnect with their true selves - their Essence® - and form meaningful connection with others.

Whether through private consultations or public workshops, Oberdan is committed to helping each individual rediscover the power and beauty of their own sexuality in an open, safe and non-judgemental environment.

With the experience accumulated from private practice, he brings new perspectives on intimacy and sexuality through highly engaging and informative presentations and workshops on sexuality, sex and relationships."

His work has been published by the British Psychological Society and Oxford University Press; he is a regular speaker and has developed his own Leadership model (Essence Leadership), which was featured in sector-specific publications and in TED.

Dr Oberdan Marianetti belongs to Oberdan Marianetti - Essence Coaching in Singapore

Mental Health News