The Art of Persuasion

Published on May 11, 2017

“One of the best ways to persuade others is by listening to them” - DEAN RUSK

Many people have a tendency to disregard the other point of view when trying to get their own point across. They forget to have a dialogue and instead rush into a carefully worded speech as to why they are right and the others are wrong. So, the question on our minds is “how do I persuade them to see my side?”  

Does sweet-talk help, or does being a good debater help more? Well, research has shown that neither is the best way to persuade someone. In fact, the best way is to listen. Listening is more likely to get others to see your viewpoint than any other way.

Here’s how:

  • When trying to put your point across you need the other person to be more relaxed and open to new views.

    Everyone wants to feel like their opinion matters, if you start by completely dismissing their ideas you are more than likely to be met with hostility rather than openness.

  • Relationships tend to proceed in mirroring response.

    When someone feels like their viewpoint has been fully appreciated they are more likely to respond positively to hearing your views. A dismissive attitude to them will result in a dismissive attitude towards your views as well.

  • A persuasive argument depends on knowing what matters to the recipient.

    While listening to the other person, pick up on the issues they are most concerned about and base your discussion around those topics.

  • People tend to be more open to persuasion when they like the other person rather than when they don’t.

    Criticism and blaming makes you unattractive and disagreeing makes you disagreeable. In contrast, agreeing makes you more likeable. Listening and expressing agreement towards others makes you likable and the listener is more likely to agree with what you have to say.

  • Being persuasive is about enabling others to change their minds.

    Once someone has voiced their opinion on a subject, they are able to take in more information from you which may lead to a change in their viewpoint.


Category(s):Adult psychological development, Anger Management, Couple Counseling

Written by:

Sudeeptha Grama

The Coffee Shop Counsellor, Sudeeptha Grama is a practitioner of Positive Psychology, counselling people in the field of depression, stress management, relationship management, conflict resolution and work-life balance.
She believes in creating a comfortable and empathetic environment and tackling various issues through practical

Sudeeptha Grama belongs to The CoffeeShop Counsellor in India

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