Forgiveness and Trust

Published on November 18, 2014

Forgiveness and trust are two totally different things. Neither one is dependent on the other.

Forgiveness of debt is helpful as a therapeutic tool. It's been effectively used for treating a variety of clinical disorders. These include specific conditions such as mood disorders, impulse control disorders, and  adjustment disorders. Within the past three decades, psychotherapists, social scientists, and other practitioners have become increasingly interested in forgiveness and its potential for improving personal well-being and interpersonal relationships.

Manny's wife broke his trust. He discovered that his wife had been having an online affair with a foreigner. After verbalizing "sorry" and coming with Manny to a therapist, she continued to lie, deceive, and communicate with the other man. When he found it out again, she fled to the country where the paramour was working and lived in with him.

Manny's wife took the affair onwards - faking documents, progressively poisoning the minds of their kids, and manipulating elements of their environment in order to blame him and conceal the adultery. Manny's wife was a realistic picture of a sick woman in need of recovery.

Understandably, Manny was emotionally devastated. There's been so much anger and depression. But in order to heal, Manny needed to learn to forgive his wife despite the ongoing affair. His forgiveness was not dependent on his wife's stopping the unfaithfulness.

Forgiveness is simply setting down the load, never to pick it up again within. However, learning to forgive his wife does not mean Manny has to trust her again. Possibly, Manny will not be able to trust his wife again, especially when she continues to betray his trust.

Forgiveness plays a big part in personal therapy. You forgive for your sake, not for the other person. Forgiveness however does not mean you have to trust the other person again. Trust is earned, based on objective evidences of remorse. Choose to heal and be free by forgiving.


Category(s):Emotional Abuse, Forgiveness, Trust Issues

Written by:

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist

Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at www.drsubida.com.

Dr. Angelo Subida, Psychotherapist belongs to Dr. Angelo Subida Psychotherapy Clinic in Philippines

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