Each of us is alone. In our human existence, aloneness is an inevitable fact of life. We entered this world alone. We will exit this world alone.
I've discovered in my life and in the life of others that how we embrace our aloneness determines whether it will be toxic or nourishing.
Toxic aloneness is produced by internalized shame. Unprocessed "original pain." Old baggage, unfinished business. So, by it, one fears separation. Or, there is indulgence in addictions, fantasy bond, or unhealthy activities to cover and escape from the pain. Toxic aloneness comes out of being self-ruptured.
Nourishing aloneness, on the other hand, means you've reached a point when your self is strong enough to protect and take care of you. You love and value your self. Instead of continually suffering from old wounds or getting stuck, you've completed your "original pain" work to let you enjoy the joys of solitude.
On the deepest level, aloneness that nourishes is possible when you flow from union with your Creator. As you come to experience growth and bliss in union with God, you come to know your true self. You also arrive at a place where you discover that you are really never alone.
Dr. Angelo Subida is a clinical psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He is author of books "Inner Healing," "Secrets Of Your Self," "Chess and Life," among others, blogs, and articles. He has appeared frequently as an expert on psychotherapy/life recovery issues on national television, radio broadcasts, print media, and webcasts, including GMA 7, TV 5, ABS CBN 2, Q-11, 700 Club, Radyo Veritas, Inquirer Radio, Smart Parenting Magazine, Business Mirror, among others, and has served as resident therapist/counselor for parents and kid-artists in the highly popular ABS-CBN 2 Voice Kids TV singing reality show. Dr. Subida is an eclectic, multidisciplinary therapist and originator of his own revolutionary high-tech, high-touch counseling plus model. His areas of specialization include parent-child therapy, clinical infidelity treatment, relationship/marital counseling, separation/divorce therapy, anger management, depression, addictions, psychotherapy-spirituality integration, and innovative chess therapy. For more of Dr. Subida, you can find him at www.drsubida.com.